Hi! You’ve reached Buffy. You’ve reached Dawn. You’ve reached Buffy and Dawn! We’re not here to take your call, but give us your vital stats when you hear the beep, and we’ll call you back. Probably.
“Dawn, I’ve uncovered some new information about the Therium nest, and I’d like to share it, if I could talk to you instead of your answering machine for once. This is a simple project that you and I should be able to handle on our own, so please return my call and don’t try enlisting Spike again. I don’t suppose you’ve heard from Buffy...?”
If you have this number, you know what to do with it. Cheers.
“Hey, are you there? Pick up. Helloooo...okay, fine. Giles found a Therium nest. He’s been telling me not to talk to you about it, but the thing is, there’s only four adults in there and I don’t see why we should have to wait for Buffy. If you want to be the muscle tonight, come pick me up after sunset. Oh, and Xander’s been acting kind of jealous of you? If I find out you said anything suggestive, I’m giving you back to the Initiative for keeps.”
Greetings from the Handy House of Harris. If someone broke down your door again and you need me to come fix it, press one. If you’d like to—-
“Listen to me, you little prat. Whatever you said to Niblet about me, just march yourself right back and tell her you’re a sodding idiot who doesn’t deserve what he’s got. If I weren’t half-devoured by a Therium right now I’d escort you there my—-aaarh, bloody hell that stings—-you wait ‘til Buffy comes back and sees you’re playing games with her little sister’s heart. Man up and talk it out.”
Hi, this is Willow’s cell. I’ve been working on a better system of communication—-did you know cell phones were originally developed by a warlock in his spare time? Stay tuned. In the meantime, leave a message!
“Hey Wills. We got nothing; the infection’s just as bad as it was yesterday. Dawn’s still mad at me. Listen, I need to talk to you. I know we all agreed that Buffy needed this, but I thought she would at least miss us by now. If you know anything the rest of us don’t…you don’t have to tell me, but...I’m worried, Willow.”
This is Angel. Leave a message.
“Um, hi. It’s Willow. I’m just calling to—-I mean—-I hope you’ll call me back. It’s been hard on us without her, without both of you. Spike got hurt fighting some Theria. We’re not sure he’s going to make it. I know you don’t care, but don’t you think Buffy would want to know? Please just talk to her. We won’t make her fight anymore. We’re sorry. Dawn wants to see her again. We all do. Angel, if you really love her...goddess, I swore I wasn’t going to get like this...please just call.”
“Buffy. It’s me. I’m going to plant these here, they’ll be beautiful in the spring.
“I have to talk to your friends soon. It scares me. I don’t know if they’ll even believe that you were already sick when you left them. I know they won’t believe you died with a smile on your face, warm in my arms, and even if they do, they’ll never forgive me for it.
“I don’t really understand why you wanted it to be this way. You told me to fight and I’ll fight forever, but you...
“They’ll be beautiful this spring, you’ll see.”