Anyone commenting to this entry with their mailing address will receive a folded piece of card stock covered in a paper envelope and containing generic yet utterly sincere expressions of a personal desire for you to experience joy during the holiday season. By popular demand (read: one person asked me), the front side of the card stock will be adorned with original art by unparalleled creative genius Kairos. Due to the limited printing of this first and only edition, the projected value of these brain-smashing masterpieces is projected at roughly a hundred kabillion dollars after a period of five to seven months from the time they are distributed.
So the choice is before you. Languish in poverty and obscurity, or hand over your address and join the rest of us in a historic celebration of my rise to grandeur and also whatever holiday you like best as long as it's Christmas. Cards are guaranteed to arrive before January 2014. Guarantee not guaranteed. Do not ignite cards or use as fortification in gingerbread houses.
Comments are, of course, screened.