Avox in Arcadia (perpetual) wrote,
Avox in Arcadia
perpetual

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Countdown

This is usually my favorite time of year. The symbolism of renewal speaks to me, and I like it that everyone gets together to have a party right after another major holiday so we can enjoy all the trappings left over and come to peace with letting it go. I've got a celebration to attend tonight, someone to kiss, and a three-day weekend. Can't complain. But this month has put me off balance a bit. Over Christmas I had a couple of really bad days, and was reviewing strategies to get through another long depressive span. Then it just dissipated and I wasn't ready with a strategy for life as normal.

The 2016 suckfest becoming a meme may have been our collective way of assuring ourselves that we're not in the early stages of a long descent. I don't talk like this. I believe in everyone's personal power, however small, to improve the world, and I believe in hope. I've just had a sinking feeling about 2017, and I don't know how to talk anyone else out of theirs.

Which is just to say, I'm sorry for being so silent even to those who were kind enough to send Christmas cards (and for bloviating about my life in a public entry). Thanks so much to all of you! They really brighten up our living room. If you missed your chance to get one from me, and wanted one, you haven't actually missed your chance, just let me know.

Another thing I usually love about New Year's is making lists, but I feel sadly uninspired today. I'll probably compile my fanworks as usual and check on my resolutions, but maybe it'll take another day or two. There are so many things I want to do, but most of them are actually just things I want to have done. I don't get how languages without a present perfect tense get by, because how else can you express that thought?

With the sky falling on LJ I'm considering once again exactly what I want out of my online presence. I'm not leaving and probably won't even take any precautions (nobody can see me as anything but harmless, alas); I'm just wondering if I've got the wrong idea always trying to coax myself to post more. Maybe it's time to cut ties, post less, concentrate on worthwhile production and individual contact.

Whatever the case, whatever happens with me, whatever happens to the world, I wish you all the very best. Into the new year we go. Let's do this thing.
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