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~all around me darkness gathers~ ~fading is the sun that shone~ ~we must speak of other matters~ ~you can be me when i'm gone~ ((All of this has happened before)) ((All of this has happened before))
God bless the rain, and the rainclouds that bring it. God bless the music, and the voices that sing it. God bless the ones who sing everything wrong. God bless all creatures who do not belong.

If you're here for my fanfiction, fan art/graphics, and reviews or stray thoughts about fiction and media, have no fear: it's all unlocked and anyone is free to friend this journal with or without asking first.
If you'd also like access to my personal blog, containing travel diary entries, pictures of my pets, and (potentially) original art and fiction, comment here. Off-duty superheroes get in after hours.
Received 35 Ultimas! ~*~ Draw
While I was feeling down around Christmas I decided to get myself a frivolous gift, and now there's a spirit of chaos watching over my study...

I don't usually buy any fandom merch, especially if it doesn't do anything but take up shelf room, but I'm really happy with Discord. He's less a toy, more a plastic sculpture, decently sized and durable. It turns out he comes off the throne and his wings are posable, which I like.

The last season of ponies gave me an even greater appreciation of his character. Essentially a demigod and never altogether innocent, his arc has shown some serious movement since he was first introduced as a villain, especially considering that he's only appeared in a handful of episodes.

When I was a little girl, shows for little girls never had characters like Discord. Shows for little girls never reformed villains into jealous but caring super-powered allies. Shows for little girls never made monsters into toys.

Raise a...coffee, or chocolate milk, or whatever that is...to everyone's favorite draconequus.

All discord, harmony, not understood,
All partial evil, universal good.

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Mad-Eye: hungry hungry
The Glue of the World: A Silver Mt. Zion - Movie (Never Made)

Received 4 Ultimas! ~*~ Draw
Dropped out of the Snowflake Meme apparently and now I'm having trouble blogging at all. I approach everything with great wariness and sometimes I don't feel like giving up but I feel like I've given up. When these decisions get made without you it can take all your effort just to find the right person to set it straight.

I still read a poem every evening. Sometimes I forget it as soon as I've spoken its final word. Last night I memorized it, and I thought of you, flist, and I wanted to share it.

The Orange by Wendy Cope
At lunchtime I bought a huge orange—
The size of it made us all laugh.
I peeled it and shared it with Robert and Dave—
They got quarters and I got a half.

And that orange, it made me so happy,
As ordinary things often do
Just lately. The shopping. A walk in the park.
This is peace and contentment. It's new.

The rest of the day was quite easy.
I did all the jobs on my list
And enjoyed them and had some time over.
I love you. I'm glad I exist.

All Places Are Alike to Me: at work
Mad-Eye: melancholy melancholy

Received 6 Ultimas! ~*~ Draw

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Day 13
In your own space, write about a moment in fandom that meant a lot to you. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

Okay, now this I can do. Tough to narrow down, actually.

I discovered Buffy the Vampire Slayer while I was at a low point, and a few months later I was deep in its fandom and Season Eight comic continuation, making some progress in putting my life together but leaning heavily on the one new fun thing I had as a distraction. When an issue of S8 was published that favored my shipper faction, I made a celebratory post that quickly attracted the like-minded and became an epic fangirl thread of silliness.

The next morning, it also attracted a rival shipper. I knew that ship wars were a thing, but had subconsciously assumed that everyone went about it with the same carefree playfight mentality that I had, or at least that I was shielded by my own obscurity. Well, after she made a post with a link to mine so that she and her friends could start their own epic thread bitching about us, I learned otherwise.

It was a rough couple days. Even if I'd had anyone in real life to talk to, explaining what had me down came off as ridiculous even in my own head. Fandom started seeming less like a release and more like the minotaur's labyrinth. But I never considered vanishing to find a new distraction, because as it turned out, I did have people to talk to. They weren't there in real life, but they were real people. They'd seen what happened, and they let me know in clear terms that it wasn't ridiculous to feel upset by it.

So, it sealed a few friendships, created a few more, some of them lifelong. Over time, I found that the incident was widely regarded as an anomaly, and not how new fans should expect to be treated. I was invited to mod at a B/A forum and encouraged to keep posting my fanfiction. I came away with a much firmer footing in the fandom and a greater appreciation of the people in it, which when you think about it is kind of the opposite of what should have happened.

Maybe it's a weird thing to have as a cherished memory, but without it, my fandom history might have ended when I stopped needing it as an escape from life. I like that it's become a part of my life instead.

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All Places Are Alike to Me: at work
Mad-Eye: nostalgic nostalgic

Received 13 Ultimas! ~*~ Draw

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Day 12

In your own space, post a rec for fannish spaces and resources - comms, challenges, twitters, tumblrs, etc. Tell us about where you hang out. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

I'm starting to get frustrated at not having good answers for these. Might have to make this my last Snowflake Challenge.

I was only active at The Round Stable (formerly Ponygoons) for a very short time, long ago, but if I ever had the time for it and desired to get deeper into pony fandom, that's probably where I'd go. Ponies are all over the web but they seem to have the same view of the show that I do (it's emphatically for children but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy it like adults), and that's rare.

I'll also take recommendations for active communities in any of my fandoms!

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Mad-Eye: nostalgic nostalgic
The Glue of the World: The Lion Guard


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Day 11
In your own space, talk about a creator. Show us why you think they are amazing. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

Well, most of the ones I followed when I was active in fandom aren't really around anymore, and of the ones who do still create, I feel like I've already recced them in this meme. I was going to blow this one off to avoid redundancy and the risk of leaving people out, and then I remembered janasbangel.

She's made more BtVS graphics than I can shake a stick at, she's fought her way past a language barrier to contribute fanfiction, and she's been the most supportive and enthusiastic friend any other fanwork creator could ever ask for. I miss her.

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Mad-Eye: melancholy melancholy
The Glue of the World: Massive Attack - Teardrop

Received 2 Ultimas! ~*~ Draw
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Day 10

In your own space, share your love for a trope, cliché, kink, motif, or theme. (More than one is okay, too.) Tell us about it, tell us why you love it, give us some examples and recs. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

Ever since I tried writing one last year, I've felt pretty attached to the Daemon AU. That's the one that borrows the concept of animal souls from the His Dark Materials trilogy, which presumably has a fandom of its own, but I'm only interested in one aspect of the setting.

I've said a few times, and it's still true, that I'm not interested in reading fanfiction lately, so it surprises me when I get curious enough about anything to look up fic for it. But I've done just that with the Daemon AU tag (linked above): scroll and scroll until I find one that crosses over with one of my fandoms. Even if the summary doesn't look that good, I'll open it up 99% of the time just because I need to know what species and names other writers have chosen for my favorite characters's daemons.

I think the appeal of everyone having an animal sidekick representing the soul is pretty obvious, but oddly, it's the rules that really seal it for me. The change at puberty, the gender question, the NO TOUCHY - all of them compound the metaphor and add all kinds of potential observations and situations. Almost any kind of setting can adapt to the addition of daemons, but it's only a Daemon AU when the writer has a handle on the limitations of the physical spirit and employs the mythology in interesting ways.

Stranger yet, I'm realizing that this actually does count as a kink as well as a trope, not because anyone uses daemons in sex but because they allow you to write G-rated sex scenes which are genuinely kinda hot. It's not metaphorical when canon states that it causes an emotional sensation intense enough to be physical. I like that idea, picturing it and writing it, imagining a character like Buffy cradling Angel's daemon as they both cry it out.

As far as I know, nobody on my flist has much interest in this trope, which of course is fine. But you may see more of it from me in the future, or you may want to make me really happy someday and write me a little bit of it. :)

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Mad-Eye: content content
The Glue of the World: Red Dead Redemption

Received 2 Ultimas! ~*~ Draw
“Cookies?” Faith snorted. “I’d be a burger. Rare, with everything, but barbecue sauce instead of ketchup, y’know? And waffle fries on the side.”

Spike looked confused. “Are you casting me as the waffle fries in this metaphor, then?”

“Hell no. I’m just hungry.” She paused thoughtfully. “You would be...I dunno, what’s your favorite food?”

“You really have to ask?”

It didn’t take long to decide to head for a burger joint. Spike found one with a wooden picnic table outside, and offered to carve their names into it.

“No, let me do it.”

Finished, it read: BURGER + BLOOD 4EVER.

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All Places Are Alike to Me: at work
Mad-Eye: mischievous mischievous

Received 16 Ultimas! ~*~ Draw

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DAY 9:

Send feedback to two fannish people — they can be anyone you want: a writer who’s made you happy, a moderator of your favorite exchange (not us!), a fanartist you avidly follow… There are so many possibilities. Just let someone know you appreciate their work.

I left comments for two writers I admire, saying as much. I'm pretty sure that completes the challenge, but I wouldn't want anyone else to miss out on their work, so let me link you to @thecarlysutra and @egelantier.

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Mad-Eye: impressed impressed
The Glue of the World: Moby - Southside

Received 4 Ultimas! ~*~ Draw

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Day 8

In your own space, make a list of at least 3 things that you like about yourself. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

Last year I blew this one off and made a joke instead but then the joke was misunderstood and I was embarrassed so I'm going to try to actually do it this time. I'm just going to pick fanwork-specific virtues and make them really particular so I don't have to feel like I might be wrong.

1. I'm not afraid to try a new medium. I've produced drawings, paintings, sculpture, graphic art, fiction, nonfiction, poetry, comics, and various crafts, and while I'm master of none, I can handle any of them enough to improve with practice.

2. I never take reviews, praise, or suggestions for granted.

3. It's pretty freaking rare for me to misplace an apostrophe. If you ever find one, definitely let me know (I promise not to commit ritual suicide over it).

Mad-Eye: ditzy ditzy
The Glue of the World: Bob Dylan - Blowin' in the Wind

Received 2 Ultimas! ~*~ Draw

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Day 7

In your own space, create a fanwork. Make a drabble, a ficlet, a podfic, or an icon, art or meta or a rec list. Arts and crafts. Draft a critical essay about a particular media. Put together a picspam or a fanmix. Write a review of a Broadway show, a movie, a concert, a poetry reading, a museum trip, a you-should-be-listening-to-this-band essay. Compose some limericks, haikus, free-form poetry, 5-word stories. Document a particular bit of real person canon. Take some pictures. Draw a stick-figure comic. Create something. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

Drabbles! Much thanks to carlyinrome, kita0610, egelantier, evil_little_dog, and ragnarok_08 for their prompts. Drabbles filling each request are listed below in the same order.

Pepper&Natasha, road tripCollapse )
Buffy meets ConnorCollapse )
LotR, lyrics involving freedom and shadowsCollapse )
Tony Stark tries to recruit Willow RosenbergCollapse )
Buffy meets Gamora.Collapse )

Bonus drabbles for carlyinrome and evil_little_dog:

Claire/Owen, if you save a life you"re responsible for itCollapse )
Connor and Dawn meet in collegeCollapse )

Also, check out this thread for ELD's continuation of the first one I wrote for her!

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Mad-Eye: hungry hungry
The Glue of the World: Weezer - Only in Dreams

Received 12 Ultimas! ~*~ Draw
Now taking drabble requests; gimme a fandom, character/s, pairing, and/or prompt.

Valid through today only!

The Glue of the World: Someone on YouTube nearby

Received 36 Ultimas! ~*~ Draw

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Day 06

In your own space, create a list of at least three fannish things you'd love to receive, something you've wanted but were afraid to ask for - a fannish wish-list of sorts. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your wish-list if you feel comfortable doing so. Maybe someone will grant a wish. Check out other people's posts. Maybe you will grant a wish. If any wishes are granted, we'd love it if you link them to this post.

1. I want a Gollum icon. Preferably screaming and freaking out. Text optional (no need to state what the text would be).

2. A vid for Avatar, BtVS, AtS, ponies, Bones, Disney movies, or Daredevil, in which I dictate the song and footage. I would be very particular and annoying about each scene choice. Volunteering for this is a terrible idea so just don't.

3. I really love feedback of any kind and I would especially love to get fic or art that responds to one of my own stories, like a remix or sequel or illustration.

This challenge pairs nicely with the Pay It Forward Meme, if I signed up for yours. But while we're on the topic, sign up for mine! I know it's supposed to be discreet but I'm going to reveal that I still have slots available even if I only stick to six.

Mad-Eye: full full
The Glue of the World: Red Dead Redemption

Received 4 Ultimas! ~*~ Draw

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Day 5

In your own space, post recs for at least three fanworks that you did not create. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

Alas, this is yesterday's challenge. Is it the first time I've been late posting? I think it is. (I know, low pressure. Fun. Breathe deep. Low pressure. Fun.)

1. Doubling up because it seems like reccing from this year's IWRY is a bit of a cheat; it was just a couple months ago and these two authors are my longtime buddies, so, not exactly hard to discover their works. But you have to believe me, these stories are up there with the best B/A of all time: The Closing Distance by @fluffernutter8, and Dancing with Death by @Taaroko.

2. Found this by wandering the web while working on a Snowflake the other day: Iron Soul by @sojourney. It might be the first Firefly fic I've ever read! Genfic, awesome dialogue, compact, Kaylee being genius, mouseover Chinese translations. What more can you ask for.

3. And this came up on my Twitter feed, also the other day. It's visual art. Spoiler warning (sort of) if you haven't seen Rogue One. Tissue warning if you have. Scroll down for more heartbreak: If by @shima_spoon.

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All Places Are Alike to Me: at work
Mad-Eye: tired tired

Received 6 Ultimas! ~*~ Draw
Glommed from carlyinrome

Let's start 2017 off in a positive way with a Pay It Forward meme. The first 6 people to comment (and more if I can manage it) will receive a surprise from me at some point in 2017 — anything from a book, a ticket, something home-grown or made, a postcard, absolutely any surprise! It will happen when the mood comes over me and I find something that I believe would suit you and make you happy.

(If you don't like surprises and would rather have something off a wishlist and/or some warning, let me know in your comment. The goal is to make you happy.)

If you can, post this in your own journal and pay it forward. Let's do more kind and loving things for each other in 2017, without any reason other than to make each other smile and show that we think of each other.

no title

Screening comments so feel free to leave me an address and/or a wishlist.

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All Places Are Alike to Me: at work
Mad-Eye: optimistic optimistic


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Day 04

Comment to someone you haven't ever interacted with before or introduce yourself to someone you've interacted with and friend/follow them. Afterwards, leave a comment in this post with the equivalent of "I did it!"

Will somebody be my friend? I really appreciate the spirit of this challenge and I'm going for 100% Snowflake completion, but I just don't have the spoons today. A link to someone else in the same position would also help.

All Places Are Alike to Me: at work
Mad-Eye: lonely lonely

Received 6 Ultimas! ~*~ Draw

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Day 03

In your own space, set some goals for the coming year. They can be fannish or not, public or private. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

I've been living with last year's so long that I couldn't even think of how I was supposed to fill it after transferring in my failures from last year. But in the end it came to another long list...


Finish and post "Wolfsbane"
Finish and post "Brace for Impact"
Write for a new fandom

Original fiction:

Complete my story "Retronym"
Finish writing the first arc of my superhero comic
Finish writing the first arc of my urban fantasy comic
Write a schlock paranormal romance to self-publish

Art and crafting:

Design superhero costumes
Paint in a medium that requires an easel
Get a Wacom tablet (and use it)
Make a pair of earrings
Make myself a skirt


Finish two books a month (children's, graphic novel, or re-read okay for one)
Finish one Wheel of Time book per month

TV and games:

Finish True Blood
Finish The Legend of Korra
Post BtVS reviews through S3


Clean up Castle Kairos
Finish and post my homebrew 30-day meme
At least one book/movie/comic/TV/fanwork review or meta per month
Do the monthly updates again
Six random acts of goodwill

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All Places Are Alike to Me: at work
Mad-Eye: tired tired

Received 6 Ultimas! ~*~ Draw

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Day 2

In your own space, share a book/song/movie/tv show/fanwork/etc that changed your life. Something that impacted on your consciousness in a way that left its mark on your soul. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

I didn't grow up reading comics; I thought superheroes were juvenile and boring until I found people my own age (by which I mean crushes) who were avid fans. With them as a guide, I enjoyed the first X-Men movie enough to lower my bias, and the second enough to finally start reading the source comics.

At the time, it wasn't easy to get ahold of all the necessary back issues, especially if you were a broke college student. I found the "Essential" collections and blew through them faster than they were being published, which led to a lot of flipping through stacks in comic shops and agonizing over how much I should dish out for a single issue. Fortunately, it was the only thing I wanted to spend money on. The only thing I even cared about.

Every good story changes your life in its own little way, but I chose this one for the meme because the impact was concrete. The genre and the medium are both firmly in my arena now, the themes of the series became the themes I want to explore in my own work. I've never again hesitated to embrace a fandom geared toward youth. I learned how to find integrity in entertainment, and how to deconstruct the literary and visual devices to see how the entire machine worked.

I never joined the fandom and I'm honestly not even sure that one exists for the era of Marvel that still has my heart. But I know I never would have joined any fandom at all if not for X-Men, the comic that helped me understand who I am.

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Mad-Eye: cold cold
The Glue of the World: Moby - Southside

Received 2 Ultimas! ~*~ Draw
Yeah I started doing lists and then I couldn't stop so I guess I'm feeling more like myself now.

One-Shot Fanfics:

Signal Fire (Jurassic World; Owen/Claire)
Five Senses Karen Has and One That Matt Doesn't (Daredevil; Matt/Karen)
Untitled (Crossover: Avengers/Deadpool)
It's All Connected (Crossover: MCU/Deadpool)
Superspeed (Avengers; Wanda&Bartons)
Procyon B (GotG; Peter/Rocket)
Unsalvageable (Daredevil; Matt/Karen)

Fanfic Chapters:

Brace for Impact (GotG; Peter&Rocket)
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Older (BtVS; Buffy/Angel)
Chapter Fifteen
Wolfsbane (BtVS; Buffy/Angel)
Prologue through Chapter Seventeen


Applicant (Avengers/Deadpool)
Profiling (Avengers/Deadpool)
Rejection (Avengers/Deadpool)
Untitled (Captain America: Civil War)


GoT Macros
More GoT Macros
Even more GoT Macros

Episode Reviews:

Welcome to the Hellmouth
The Harvest


Responsibility in Civil War and Buffyverse vampires
Saga Lately
Some notes on the Civil War comics


Marvel apron

Mad-Eye: awake awake
The Glue of the World: Queen documentaries on YouTube

Received 4 Ultimas! ~*~ Draw

Finish Jurassic World fic by the end of the week
Finish Daredevil fic by the end of the month
Add a chapter to "Older" per the challenge I set on Day 6

Write some B/A fic totaling at least 5000 words (Aaarghh....)
Complete a fic of any length for the GotG fandom

Original fiction:

Complete my story "Retronym" (It's not dead yet, at least.)
Finish writing the first arc of my superhero comic
Plot out the first arc for my other comic
Revisit my YA fantasy novel
(Revisited, in the sense that I opened the doc and realized it wasn't the right time to return to it, but I thought I should let myself have this one.)
Clean up and post/publish a couple poems


Draw centaur porn (It's going to be so weird not having this on my resolutions.)
Sketch the main characters from the two comics
Make something for my nephew and/or nieces
Complete any kind of painting
Use Photoshop
Use my sewing machine
Finish repainting my Psyche sculpture


Finish a book a month (This month was The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas, plus the reread of American Gods and the comic series Y: The Last Man. All were good. I'm going to continue with this goal although I may not write it down.)
Finish the Civil War event before the movie
Finish the Age of Apocalypse event before the movie
Devour all the Squirrel Girl that exists
Check out the Harry Dresden series on audiobook
(I'm still reading these, but currently hovering at the beginning of Proven Guilty. I broke my iPhone.)
Get a Wheel of Time refresher (Seems I've taken an unintended break, but I'll continue with this series too.)
Read one poem every night before going to sleep (This too.)


Catch up on Game of Thrones (Yeah no I haven't started S6 yet, but I own it and we're watching it soon, so it counts.)
Catch up on Doctor Who (When's the last time I wrote about this? I did enjoy the finale.)
Revive my BtVS episode reviews (One more for the "will continue" pile.)


Fix the comments system etc. on Castle Kairos (Aaaarrrrrghhh.)
Finish and post my homebrew 30-day meme
Get the theme tune for Pompidou out of my head (At last! Hey, maybe I should go listen to it again...)

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Mad-Eye: hungry hungry
The Glue of the World: Battlefield I

Received 2 Ultimas! ~*~ Draw